A PLEDGE to protect our cultural identities from ‘outsiders’

Our country is suffering from an identity crisis due to a influx of outsiders. Not outsiders from outside the country, but within the country itself. You see, these outsiders are our fellow Indians that come to our states and take away our jobs and ruin our language and culture. It is time that we stop these selfish bastards from polluting our land. But first we must make sure they know how one is really suppossed to live in a free, democratic country that respects all of it’s cultures or languages. So fellow countrymen, today pledge with me:

1) That you will never enroll in any educational institution outside your own state nor let your children enroll in one, even if they qualify for IIT’s, IIM’s or any other prestigious college.

2) You will not accept any job offers that requires you to live outside your state for a period of more than 6 months nor let you children do the same, even if the package is really enticing and the opportunity will add a shining star to their resume.

3) In case you are unable to resist your selfish and incosiderate urge and choose to do any of the above, you will not step into any other state before learning their complete language, slangs, expletives, customs and rituals, even if you are only going to stay for a period of less than 2 years.

4) You will also completely resist the urge to speak in your own mother tongue and when even speaking with friends and colleagues from your own state, you will only speak the local language of that region.

5) You will not celebrate your own festivals, nor wish your friends and colleagues when living in a different state. Nor will you urge your children to do the same if they are studying or working outside your state. Because, obviously, that will dilute the cultural integrity of that region, like outsiders do in yours.

6) You will also not demand that any job, post or promotion should be afforded to you only based on your talent or capabilities. You will respect that the locals deserve that job more than you even if they have lesser qualifications, experience or efficiency.

If each of you can pledge to follow the above rules, then surely we will no longer have ‘outsiders’ ruining and polluting our culture and taking away our jobs. If you cannot, then STOP being a hypocrite.

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