I watched Dear Zindagi this weekend, and… No, this is not a review nor is it a fan girl moment. This is me as a 20-something woman relating to Kaira. The movie seems to take a page out of our everyday life. Her insecurities. Her mistakes. Her rectifications. The need for someone to listen to you. The need to shout out loud. The need for assurances. Falling in love. Falling out of love. The desire to bury feelings deep down. Even the rules stating that single people living alone is taboo. Everything is so relatable. And, while Jug tries to relate choosing chairs with having relation and breaking up before u can find the right person I would like to relate it to a different custom followed in India. That of arranged marriages.
As soon as you reach that quintessential age, of early-20s to mid-20s you will find relatives saying… now’s right time to get married. And not only relatives, there are many so-called progressive people who think the same way. And how are you supposed to choose your life partner? By being paraded in front of your future in-laws and having 5-minute conversations with your future husband? How can you like someone in 5 minutes? Or decide that yes that, that person is the “one”? When we probably take hours inside a shop when buying something, oscillate between options how can a person decide who to spend their life within 5 minutes? It’s very rare that you find the one in a click. Yes, people talk about love at first sight but it’s a rare breed in itself.
And, why deride people when they make mistakes? Or why for that matter caution people from making mistakes? Isn’t it better to let a person make his/her own mistakes and learn from that? I have people in my life who are always cautioning me. Telling me don’t do this. Do this. And my perpetual question to them is… Why? If I don’t make mistakes how do I learn from them? And, if I don’t learn I will keep making the same mistakes without realizing it when you are not around. So… let me make my own mistakes. Let me make mistakes so I can learn my own lessons.
This movie made me think about my own life. And therein lies its innate strength. It makes you think. It makes you reflect. On the good bits. On the bad bits. On your success. On your failure.
And, in case this finds any not 20-something person then this is what I would like to tell you. Just because a girl has relationships and subsequent break-ups doesn’t mean she is promiscuous. Just because a girl has friends coming over doesn’t mean that she is “characterless”. And a boy and a girl can be friends. They needn’t always be “boyfriend-girlfriend”.
Don’t judge when you don’t know what is really going on under the surface.